Liminal Space of a Website
It's been a while, Bear.
This account on bearblog was always an intermediary thing. When I made this account I was in a transitional stage where I had begun to hate this other blog website I had been working on for over a year. But I also wanted to break the cycle where every time I try doing a blog, it's fun until I inevidibly hate it and then destroy it. So rather than do that I decided to come here, to not think about that other site, and just write very informally here.
There was a distinct difference between the type of things I was writing on the old blog and the type of things I wrote here. With the old blog it was like I was taking myself seriously as if I was going to have an audience and be an entertainer and someone who is informative.
Here it was more like... I'm going to let all my most negative emotions out and talk about my personal life and who cares. Kind of backwards really since this site probably has better discoverability than my site. But I guess I could feel myself becoming someone else and I wanted to fracture.
Then I quit writing here and entered into new stage of website productivity. I wrote my own static site generator from scratch, I made a plugin for it that can fetch my posts from here and incorporate them into the new site, and I don't hate that site anymore. I didn't have to destroy the old, I didn't have to break off into something else entirely. The site was reborn with portions of its old self replaced, most of its old content intact, and even traces of the liminal blogging you're reading now. Sometimes I'm not sure if that was the right decision but it's fine.
Because I've been working more on the build step of the site and the design of the site I haven't written as often. It somewhat feels like I don't have anything worth saying yet, so I don't want to sully my own site with blah, blah, blah, blah. It's the transitional state again for different reason.
That's why I like having this blog still. I can just throw words at the wall and if I want to pull them into my "real" site later, I can still do that, but if I want to leave it here that's also an option.
I'm guessing this isn't the last we'll see of each other, Bear.